"Who is my neighbor?"

The last 24 hours have been a very surreal experience for Jean and me. Yesterday afternoon there was a knock at our door. It was two police officers who needed to ask us a few questions about our next-door neighbor, Reggie. It was the kind of interview that one never wants to have. For we found out later when one of them, the IMPD chaplain, came back to inform us that he had been tragically killed in a car accident earlier that morning. He was only 60 years old. (If those of you in Indianapolis area saw the news, Reggie's car slid on the ice while crossing the bridge, broke through the guardrail, and plunged about 20 feet into the Eagle Creek Reservoir.)

As you might imagine, the news of his untimely death was quite a shock to us. We have been neighbors ever since we moved into this relatively-small sub-division about four years ago. When we first arrived, Reggie came over and welcomed us to the neighborhood. Since then, he has been the kind of neighbor that anyone would want--always quick to help, ready with a kind word or wave, and engaging with our kids. He death is a great loss to our neighborhood.

But frankly, what pierced my heart more deeply was the difficulty of the interview with the police. Not because of any reluctance to answer their questions. But sadly, because of my sheer ignorance of even the most basic things about Reggie. I hate to admit this, but I didn't even really remember his last name until that conversation forced us to find the old business card he gave us once. Absolutely inexcusable!

Death strikes each of us at various points in life's journey. And every time it raises realities which we too often submerge in the subconscious of our daily life. As always, there is the brevity of life which we've discussed before, and as such, the willingness to come face-to-face with our mortality. But the circumstances of this particular incident raised another sobering question for me.

It is the question that was famously asked of Jesus by a lawyer who was attempting justify his inaction on behalf of others: "Who is my neighbor?" (Luke 10:29) And I find I'm being haunted by the idea of just how well we really know our neighbors, how much we attempt to intentionally engage with them. I mean even as I sit here and write, I can look right out my office window and see his house next door. And I've seen it so many times but never with the dark shadows within whose permanency shrouds his home today. They serve, and will continue to serve, as a constant reminder of opportunities lost--on so many levels.

Jean posed an interesting question yesterday as we were talking and and crying about it, "Would we have even known about his death if the police hadn't stopped at our door inquiring about him?" Truth be told, it's quite possible that it would have taken some time before the news reached us, much longer than should be the case with someone who lives in such close proximity.

My father had a saying (one many of those pithy little one-liners that bug you at the time, but with years and maturity come to represent profound wisdom that had escaped your attention in adolescence), "I never lose, I learn." And in this case, the tragedy of Reggie's death serves as wonderful learning lesson about the importance of being a good neighbor to those whom God has brought across our paths. In our fast-food, cubicle-segmented society, we have lost the willingness, perhaps even the ability, to genuinely invest in the lives of those around us. I'd like to believe that the fumbling and stumbling around that we engaged in with the police regarding our next-door neighbor is merely symptomatic of the self-focused busyness of the Crane house. (And I could try to justify our lifestyle for any number of legitimate reasons.) But I dare say, it may very well not be limited to this little corner of our neighborhood. I wonder, how well we know our neighbors? How much do we really invest in their lives?

And for the Christian, this tragic evolution is especially revealing. After all, it is quite likely that God has put within our sphere of influence those people that need an extra special touch of His love for them. Though He his perfectly capable of moving heaven and earth to meet the deep needs of people, He devised a much simpler strategy--us.

And on a spiritual level, death should compel each of us to reexamine our own spiritual condition. For the Christian, these kinds of untimely circumstances should also have us reevaluating what we really believe about those passages in Scripture which say things like "...consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 2:3-5) and "...let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:18). There are so many passages which speak to the importance of reaching out to those around us. And I am shamed to a degree at my inconsistency with my neighbor, Reggie. is quickly burned off by the rising sun, our journey is passing much more quickly than we may realize.

But fortunately, I serve the God of second chances. And so, this circumstance compels me forward to be a better neighbor in the future. For our time in this life is passing us by. The Bible says, we are "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14). And indeed, like the morning mist which is quickly burned off by the rising sun, our journey is passing much more quickly than we may realize. So let us commit to being better neighbors to those around us, to sacrifice our lives in order to invest in theirs. There is no greater calling, for as I've said before, "All we have is the next five minutes." I just wish I had five more minutes with Reggie. 

UPDATE: This video from our local news station uses this tragedy to provide some helpful tips to you if you ever find yourself in a similar situation. It's worth knowing.

Comments

[andy]

I'm sorry to hear about that man. Do you know if he was a believer?

One thing we're doing this year to foster stronger relationships with our neighbors is filling stockings with cards from the kids and snacks and stuff. It's so important to foster intentional relationships with those who are physically close to you as well as spiritually close. Over the years we've made it a habit of getting to know our neighbors, spending time outside chatting on the porch with them and having an open door policy (more difficult in the winter!).

In this age of internet chatting and tech savviness, we seem to be losing some basic interpersonal communication skills, and we could all use some practice.