Sunday morning sneak attack

"Man your battle stations! Man your battle stations!" (Cue the shrill scream of the air raid sirens)

It was a peaceful Sunday morning, and a soft rain was falling just outside Crane Headquarters. The date was September 7, 2008.

I had taken my usual place at the helm of my laptop during a lull in the action of getting the family ready for church. Suddenly, the stillness of the morning was broken by a shriek from the bathroom as Andrew screamed, "Moooommmmmm! Help!"

Since Mom was in the shower, I ran down to the bathroom just in time to see both of our stalwart junior seamen, Caleb and Andrew, jumping ship over the side of the tub. In their haste they abandoned their little brother, Mark, who was standing in the ankle-deep water. And then I saw it. Slowly trolling underwater was a brown submarine that Mark has launched only moments before.

Mark was crying. Both Caleb and Andrew were screaming and running naked down the hallway. And in the midst of the mayhem, I was frantically yelling, "Everybody...just...CALM DOWN!"

Friends, if you've ever been faced with a submarine attack of such proportions, drastic times call for drastic measures. Being the courageous, battle-harden veterans that we all were, there was only thing do to under the circumstances...call in reinforcements. So I ran to get Mom. (Bear in mind my squeamishness where fecal incidents are concerned. It's all I can do to make it through the containment that a diaper provides.)

In her usual calm, assertive way, Jean came and saved the day. Crisis averted! And we were off to church. We've lived to battle on another day... (To all you other parents out there, have a great day. :)

UPDATE: I just got back from the bathroom where "the incident" happened. And to paraphrase Robert Duvall's character, Lt. Colonel Bill Kilgore, from Apocaplypse Now, "I love the smell of Clorox in the morning! ...that smell, it smells like...victory." Indeed it does!

Comments

[DJ]

Wow...I knew you could weave a tale with words, but this little gem had me laughing so hard I cried. And it reminds me of a quote, that I think was originally attributed to Homer Simpson (or it's at least the voice that I hear it in in my head)..."It's funny because it's true."

[Jim Leech]

Sounds like the brown trout are jumping over at the Crane house. I'll have to bring my pole next time:-)